This post is for all you conspiracy theorists out there...I'm a beleiver now!
Okay...so you know the Weight Watchers saga right?
Well I am DILLIGENT about tracking my points and STICKING to them. No weekly allowance points here, no sir.
I run my butt of and eat my activity points - and often not all of them.
Today we got our week six book...
And now I am PARANOID....
For someone has been watching me.
They saw me eat two of my Dad's Sun Chips and not count them...
They saw me eat a bite of my Dad's Lasanga...
They saw me a bite of all the good food Klaus gets to eat but I don't...like his 'nilla custard the other night..and then there was the pita bite... Really I wanted to stick him for the custard it...
Just tiny little bites - and this is rare - maybe once or twice a week do I have an "illegal" untracked, uncounted bite of something sinful.
Well, lo and fricken behold this book is like...YOU BITE IT YOU TRACK IT...
Um, EXCUUUUUSSSSEE ME? You want me to track EVERY STINKIN BITE THAT I PUT IN MY MOUTH?
I mean let's be honest. I have wanted to shank some of these people from whom I have stolen these precious, delicious, wonderous, tasty bites from so that I could eat ALL of their food.
But I have willpower. I can refrain. I can have one bite and totally convince myself that I am doing such a good job practicing restraint. (Did I mention I was gullible?)
And they want to take away my bites? They make them dirty and forbidden?
I think not.
DAMN YOU WEEK SIX BOOK - YOU CAUGHT ME BITE HANDED!
Weight Watchers people stop watching me with your creepy governement satellites! GO AWAY. What happend to HIPPA and all that?
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
So screw you Weight Watchers Week Six book.
I will have my illegal bites and I WILL HAVE THEM WHEN I WANT THEM AND I WILL NOT COUNT THEM!
(screams toward the celing at the omnipresent Weight Watchers satellites)
But now I will feel dirty and guilty about it.
Gee, thanks a lot wieght watchers.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I do a lot of reading and I have to say that this blog is incredible. A slight touch of comedy adds life to the weight loss struggle and also makes it very "real". It helps you know that you, too, can accomplish the goals. And obviously have fun doing it. I do believe this is a true case of 90% attitude and 10% try...and what a great %100 effort it has made!!
Post a Comment